Some persons are born with a likeable nature, everyone is attracted to them. Some are never liked. Others are neither liked nor disliked; they are just ignored. Why? Impartial God is not responsible for the uneven distribution of attractive qualities. The differences in each human’s character are of his own cultivation. He himself has created those pleasant or unpleasant qualities, in this or in past lives. It would be a great injustice if God were responsible for starting off some children with the advantage of likable good qualities and others with a handicap of obnoxious bad qualities. But it is not he who has established bad tendencies in some children and good in other; therefore we cannot hold God accountable.
God creates all men equal, made in His image. In order to see the justification of man’s seeming inequalities, we must understand the law of reincarnation.
There would be no meaning to life if it did not afford us sufficient opportunities to develop our potentials and satisfy our desires. This earth is a vast schoolhouse, and the law of reincarnation is the justice that brings each man here again and again until he has learned all of life’s lessons. Lord Krishna referred to this truth : “Diligently following his path, purging himself of sin, attaining perfection by the efforts of many births, the yogi finally enters the Supreme Beatidude. : Bhagwat Gita VI : 45
Man himself has cultivated his bright and dark qualities. Somewhere, sometime, in this or other lives, the seeds were planted by his own actions.
Attractiveness comes from Within
One should learn to analyse himself and others to determine why some persons are liked by all and others are not. Even among children we find some whom everyone regards affectionately and others whom everyone avoids. One of the first conclusions from such analysis is that if a person is to become likeable, he must make himself more attractive from within. Sometimes even the most physically attractive may be replellent because of the inner ugliness reflected in his speech and actions.
At one time the secret of popularity was supposed to be ‘it’ a kind of physical appeal and magnetism. But having ‘it’ does not necessarily make one likable. Our good or bad traits determine whether, and by whom, we are liked or disliked. Evil attracts evil; good attracts good. ‘it’ is not what we should want, but the kind of magnetism that will draw good to us, that will bring sincere friends and merited admiration. Can externals such as clothes and a pretty or handsome face give us this kind of attractiveness? No, it has to be created within.
Avoid moodiness. There is no unpleasantness in being grave; but your expression is quite different when you are indulging in a dark mood. Your face is a mirror that reveals every change of feeling. Your thoughts and emotions, like waves, ebb and flow in the facial muscles, continuously altering your appearance. Everyone you meet sees and reacts to these facial expressions of what you are inwardly thinking and feeling. You can fairly well control your eyes and your smile, and thus conceal your feelings from some; but not from all. Lincoln rightly said, “It is true that you may fool all the people some of the time; you can even fool some of the people all the time; but you can’t fool all of the people all the time.”
In our eyes is the entire history of our life. It cannot be concealed from those who know how to read it. There are spiritual eyes, half spiritual eyes, dishonest eyes, sensual eyes. What one does is written there.
Never do anything that taints your mind. Wrong actions cause negative or evil mental vibrations that are reflected in your whole appearance and personality. Engage in those actions and thoughts that nurture the good qualities you want to have. If you conduct yourself in accord with the truths I am telling you, you will find your life beautifully different.
You are Judged Largely by the way
You Conduct yourself
One is judged somewhat by his dress, but largely by the way he conducts himself. Always be clean and trim in appearance. Avoid overdressing; fussy clothes and accessories make one look like a museum piece! Clothe yourself simply and neatly, and as befits your personality. But first of all learn good behaviour. Once you have developed your mind and cultivated appealing inner virtues, dress becomes less important.
The point is, one should not think all the time about the body; nor should he be careless of it. To give the body to little or too much attention makes one become unbalanced, fanatical. Look after the body in a reasonable way, and remember always what is most important your mentality, your behaviour. Give more attention to the mind, the springboard of your behaviour, for that is what most persons respond to.
When with others : Be Sincere and Thoughtful
Be interested in others. When you are by yourself you have a right to think and do what you want to; but when you are with others, you should not be absent-minded or uninterested. The company of a corpose would be preferable to that an absentminded person; the indifference of a corpose bears no insult. When you are in the company of others, be with them wholeheartedly, but when your interest in being with them lags, make a polite excuse and withdraw. You have no right to remain while your mind is absent.
What is life unless you have the right kind of friends around you? There is a magnet in your heart that will attract true friends. That magnet is unselfishness, thinking of others first. Very few persons are free from self contendness. Yet one can develop the quality of unselfishness very easily if he practices thinking of others first. A mother usually has this quality. Her life is service. She gives to her husband and children first. Because she always thinks of others before herself, others think of her. That is the tradition in the homes in India.
Consideration for others is a most wonderful quality. It is the greatest attractiveness you can have. Practice it! If someone is thirsty, a thoughtful person anticipates his need and offers him a drink. Consideration means awareness of and attentiveness to others. A considerate person, when in the company of others, will have an intuitive awareness of their needs.
If you look around, when you attend a party, you will almost always notice some guests who are openly envious of what others have. No one wants to be with thoughtless, selfish people. But everyone is glad to be with a tractful, considerate person.
Practice consideration in your speech as well as in your actions; and when you feel tempted to speak harshly, control that impulse and talk calmly instead. Let no one hear harsh words from you. Be not afraid to speak truth when you are asked to do so; but do not force your thoughts on others. Remember also, it may be truth to speak of the blind man as a blind man, or the sick man as a sick man, but it is better to avoid such bluntness. By the kindness and consideration of your speech you help to uplift others and make them better.
A wonderful feeling arises within a person when he is consideration of others, thinking first of them. As soon as you are concerned for someone else, not only does he think of you, but God thinks of you too. If you are thoughtful, doing for others all the time, then even if you part with your last penny to help them, God will return even more blessings to you.
Another thing to remember ; Each one of you has some special quality, a uniqueness, that others have not. Also, each one is richer or poorer in some way than others are. If you are unselfish, good tempered, understanding, you are richer than those who are selfish, angry and jealous.
The Soul can put on any kind of Mental Dress
When you meet a wonderful person, don’t you wish you were like him? Think of all the noble qualities that are in the hearts of great men and women; you can have them all in your own heart. You can be humble and strong, or brave like a general fighting for a righteous cause.
Each human being is unique; no two can be exactly the same. Think of yourself in this way. “My personality is the gift of God. What I am, no one else is. I shall be very proud of my divine individuality. I shall improve myself and don a personality of goodness.” If you play your part well, you are just as good as the soul who plays the part of a king or a queen. And so long as you play your role well, you will be attractive and loved by all. Your part well-played is your passport to God.
What you expect others to be, you be first. Practice these suggestions. Take one quality at a time and work at developing it. From today, for instance, practice peace. Then take cheerfulness; try to smile even when you are unhappy. Then work at cultivating courage and fearlessness. Some persons are terrified of the dark. If you are one of these, practice going into a dark room until you get over this fear. Develop the consciousness that God is with you. You can be in an impregnable castle and still disease can get at you there. Yet you can be one in the battlefield with bullets flying all around you, and if your time to leave the body has not come, nothing will hurt you. Practice perfecting sincerity, unselfishness, business ability, and so on.
Practice consideration and goodness until you are like a beautiful flower that everyone loves to see. Be the beauty that is in a flower, and the attractiveness that is in a pure mind. When you are attractive in that way, you will always have true friends. You will be loved by both man and God.
Practical Methods for Uniform Development
Following are a few practical methods for uniformly developing body, mind, and soul :
- Include in your daily diet milk and other dairy products and good percentage of raw food and fresh fruits; drink a large glass of orange juice with finely ground nuts mixed in. Eat less meat; avoid beef and pork entirely.
- Keep on once a week on orange juice and use a suitable natural laxative as prescribed by you physician.
- Avoid addiction, alcoholism and smoking.
- Every morning and evening, with deep attention, walk briskly, run, or take some other form of exercise as vigorous as your constitution allows until you perspire.
- Read and meditate on some inspiring passage from the Bible, from the Quran, from the Guru Granth Sahib, from the Bhagavad-Gita.
- Read Shakespeare, Tolstoy and other classics, and suitable portions from practical books on such subjects as chemistry, physics, physiology, history of Oriental and Western philosophy, comparative religion, ethics, and psychology. Don’t waste your time on cheap writings. Read a dependable health periodical and an inspiring spiritual magazine. Include editorials and health articles when reading newspapers, not just the comics and scandals.
- Visit different temples and churches—Protestant, Catholic, Buddhist, Jewish, Hindu, and so on—to develop you appreciation and understanding of all faiths. Look upon each one as The Temple of Our God.
- Honour God not only in man-made temples, but learn to worship and commune with Him in the inner temple of silence. Practice meditation for one hour in the morning and one hour at night, following the scientific methods taught by the great masters of Self-Realization. Do not be sidetracked into forests of blind, untested belief and theology; get on the one highway of Self-realization that leads quickly to God.
- Do not be enslaved by the senses. They are not meant to bind you with material desires, but to serve you with perceptions of good, which reflect God.
- See plays or motion pictures only occasionally, choosing those of the highest quality.
- Obey God’s divine laws as applied to family, country and all nations.
- Speak truth with kindness and understanding, and respect truth wherever you perceive it.
- Expand your love for family and country to include love and service to people of all nations. See God in all men of whatever race or religion.
- Spend less, and have more, by doing away with luxurious habits. From your earnings put aside as much as possible, so that you can live partially on the interest from your savings, without having to dip into the capital.
- See life as divided into four periods, during each of which the main focus should be on developing efficiency in the activities appropriate to that part of life (Brahmacharya, Grihastha Vanaprastha, Sannyas).
1. From age 5 to 25 years : The child should receive concentrated character training and become instilled with spiritual ideals and habits. As he grows into adulthood, he should get a general education, learn efficiency by study and observation, and seek specialized training in some work to which he feels suited.
2. From age 25 to 40 years : As an adult, one should fulfil family and other obligations to this world, while striving to keep a spiritual balance.
3. From age 40 to 50 years : During this period, adults should live more quietly studying inspirational writings and keeping abreast of progress in the arts and sciences and spending more time in meditation.
4. From age 50 onwards : One should spend the last part of life in meditating deeply most of the time; and through the wisdom and spirituality thus acquired, in rendering social and spiritual services to others.
