Disciplined and obedient children are loved by all. On the other hand naughty mavericks being bothersome, miss out on life’s numerous privileges. It’s vitally important that children learn to behave and obey their elders early in life so that they grow up to become good citizens of a civil society.
Family is the best training ground
Order of nature being what it is, time span of human infancy is longer as compared to other life forms. A cursory look at birds and animals in our milieu testifies to it. New borns of cats and dogs age fast and are full grown adults in a short period of time. So also is case with many a plant species. But a human baby develops slowly, at snail’s pace. Lamark, the famous biologist said : ‘The longer a living species lives on earth, the greater (in same proportion) is the amount of labour and time that goes into its biological development.’ Since man lives for pretty long, and happily too, his primary (childhood) development must of necessity be long and gradual in a matching order.
The little chimeras
A household where children are lacking in discipline and obedience is not a home, but a heaven for the spoiled brats who would for ever do their own bidding and harm others.’
—Leo Tolstoy
Indeed it is the blessed of guardians or parents who get an opportunity to lead little children into ways of life. Yet, call it ignorances, indifference or laxity, elders pass this buck on to servants or teachers and believe that they have done their duty.
For any teacher worth his salt it is impossible to mend a batch of 30-40 students, especially if they are an indisciplined lot. Those lacking in the spirit of obedience, are also hard to be taught. Indeed woe betides homes where children are unruly and stubborn.
Children unruly by nature are bound to face rough weather when they grow up. Life is bound by rules and obedience in one way or other is obligatory for all. Those lacking in this quality are bound to fail in life. Children who are defiant, stick to their errant way. Talk about towing a line, they will look the other way. Obedience, to them, appears servitude. It is beyond their comprehension that following their elders’ advice is for their own good.
Some parents are always at loggerheads with their children. Same may be said of many a teacher-pupil relationship. But this problem is more acute in families where young ones aren’t taught to ‘obey’ early in life.
Obedience is second nature
It should be a matter of habit that children do their senior’s bidding. Children are malleable and can be easily moulded to their parent’s liking. If they are told that obedience matters, they accept it. If no lessons on obedience is imparted to them, they come to believe it doesn’t matter. Some guardians take exception to ruling tiny tots saying they are too young to mend. What is the hurry to hone them, they argue, adding, let them grow up. They seem to forget that when iron is hot—time is most ripe for strike. Missing this chance tantamounts to spoiling the child. There are many a lessons which need to be taught, vitally too, in childhood itself. A toddler needs to be told what shouldn’t be touched, even as caution is exercised to keep injurious items away from child’s reach. Albeit things like gas stove and refrigerators can’t be shoved from child’s way. Ergo, tipping the child is indispensable.
Apart from safe placement of domestic items, it is essential that children are briefed about such things as can be harmful if handled/mishandled. This must be done when child gets to moving around on four or two. If child does take hold of what it shouldn’t, the item should be gently removed from its possession with an engaging smile—without any show of fear or anger. By such behaviour the baby will neither go into sulk nor feel hurt.
Here it is important to note that after giving one piece of information to child, don’t rush in with another. Else toddler will neither remember first thing, nor second. And since obedience needs to be instilled as habit, it needs serious attention. In the same token, take care not to contravene what you have said to the child on an earlier occasion. Psychologists believe a child needs to be consistent in obeying, else, obeying will not mutate to a habit. Should the child want to do something from list of ‘dont’s’, parent should try diverting his mind in a different direction. This approach won’t stem child in any way, albeit his frolic will find a new outlet. Some may doubt veracity of this approach saying that if child remains obedient, he/she misses out on drill of self-control. Yet full marks should be given when child doesn’t derelict on parental directions. A child of such nature will definitely learn to exercise self control as he/she grows up and mellows down.
Besides this, such interface, at the very least, poses no threat to parent-child bonhomie—which is top notch advantage. Reason being, it breeds goodwill and trust between parents and their little ones.
Tenets of obedience
Some parents aren’t sure whether their wards will take to their directions and follow their ideals. Those who are sure of their children’s compliance are the ones with impelling voice and firm disposition. Their temperament exudes peace and patience. Gruff voice and express disdain impact children unfavourably. Much like the young ones of animal life, human babies too are terrified by gruffness. Ring Master—the animal trainer in a circus show, must necessarily remain calm and patient for his life and survival.
When children are doing tit bits at home in their innocent ways, parents should encourage them with approving smile, appreciation, and active cooperation. Props like “Bravo! My darling prince…Wow! You have done a wonderful job…very good…good boy” help children’s enthusiasm and creativity. Thus treated, children remain obedient for their guardians for all times to come.
Remember
❑ Disciplining of children should neither be too hard, nor too relaxed. Making children deft and discriminating should be a gradual process. Because the ultimate aim of this exercise is to inculcate spirit of abnegation self control in young generation.
❑ Children, quite naturally, want to have their way. And why not, when we the grown ups too desire doing whatsoever we deem fit. In such a scenario youngsters need to be told that for everything there is a time and a context. Hence the ‘right’, and the ‘wrong’ are subjective issues and not absolute parameters. Parents have a rich experience of ups and downs in life, which the children are lacking. This needs to be conveyed to little ones who try to find fault in elder’s well meaning behaviour.
❑ Not all parents are capable of being an ideal which their kids may be advised to follow.
❑ When it comes to OBEDIENCE, let no leniency be shown to a child at any time, and under any circumstances.
❑ O the angels of dusk
Go slow
There are sand huts on way
Made by playful children.
