In 1883, when Monia alias Mohandas had barely crossed 13th year of his life the family got him married to a girl named Kasturba, the daughter of a teacher. Child marriage was a tradition then. Infact, Monia and Kasturba were engaged in 1881 when the former had just finished his primary education.
Along side middle level studies the teenager tried hard to be a family man by initiating sex life. He thought being married was great fun. His studies suffered. Monia would sit in class dreaming about his girl wife and teachers looked pantomime actors because what they spoke failed to impress his ear drums. He eagerly awaited the classes to end to rush home to fool around with his wife. Somehow he reached 10th class flip-flopping and becoming father of a child.
Matriculation Examination result sheet did not carry his name. He had failed.
Chastised Mohandas decided to mend his ways and pay full attention to studies. The schools taught Sanskrit as an optional subject. Mohandas had taken it but found it very boring. He didn’t want to continue with Sanskrit. The teacher of that subject was a dry and rough character. Mohandas and several of his classmates made up their minds to give up Sanskrit and opt for Persian. The teacher of Persian was a sweet natured man greatly adored by his students.
But Sanskrit teacher came to know of it. He called Mohandas to him and explained to him the virtues of Sanskrit. He promised that very soon the language would feel easy and interesting. He swore by the culture and the religion Sanskrit was base of. Mohandas was not a forceful character. So, unwillingly he continued with Sanskrit.
Bad habits
Like all other teenagers Mohandas experienced several companies. Bad company always looks interesting and adventurous which holds sway. There always is an urge to try something new which leads to many things.
Mohandas has an uncle, a distant relative. He used to smoke. His smoking made great impact on young Mohandas. The uncle’s puffing, white columns of smoke billowing out of his nostrils and his nicotine contented face were living advertisements of cigarettes to win over the simple teenager. The wisdom dawned on Mohandas that cigarette smoking was the difference between a boy and a man. What a shame that inspite of being a married boy he had not smoked so far!
Mohandas began to pick up cigarette stubs and smoke them. But stubs had too little tobacco left to produce a healthy lungful of smoke. He yearned for one whole cigarette to experience the real thing. Buying cigarette required money and no one had ever trusted Mohandas with a coin even. The question was from where to get the money?
Where there is will there is a way for a determined teenager. Man-making endeavours demand some courage and daredevilry. So, Mohandas stole money from the pocket of the domestic servant of his own family.
Thus, he smoke a full cigarette and found himself on the seventh heaven. It was real manly experience. He must carry on the good work. He kept stealing every now and then whenever irresistible wish to do manly act hit him.
But his conscience always bit him. After all stealing was no noble job. His frail body could not carry the guilty feeling too far. One day he took pledge to give up smoking that made him steal. And he really quit smoking.
That achievement gave Mohandas a funny idea that he was a great reformist talent. He could reform anyone. He undertook the task of reforming a friend of his who had earned a lot of notoriety. The family members advised him to give up company of that bad character.
But Mohandas argued, “A bad character can be reformed. He too deserves a chance.”
His wife Kasturba didn’t like it. She stopped talking to him. Mohandas did not take her seriously or didn’t care. And he got down to the business of reforming the bad character.
He tried persuasion. He argued. The bad one shot back counter argument.
It continued on and on.
Most of Mohandas’ friends believed that they must become non-vegetarians. The logic was that the British empire was spread over most of the land area of the earth because they were flesh eaters. The youngmen were convinced of the fact. Even a prominent Gujarati poet propagated the idea in his then oft quoted poem which read to the following effect—‘Look at the magnificent youth, the English youth! We tiny Indians look dwarfs before him. He rules over us because he eats meat. That is what makes him a mighty one…’
Sheikh Mukhtar, a friend of Mohandas also claimed, “We Indians are weaklings because we don’t eat flesh. The English are lording over us only because they eat all types of meat which makes them strong. Look at me. How bulky I am compared to you! It is because I eat beef but you don’t.”
During that period reformist waves were sweeping through Rajkot. All kinds of theories were floating around.
That friend confided to Mohandas, “You don’t know many teachers also have began eating meat stealthily.”
He quoted the names of some prominent persons of the city who were alleged to have converted to non-vegetarianism.
The argument was gradually making impression on Mohandas. The repeated advocacy of flesh eating was showing positive result. Mohandas was coming around to the decision to give non-vegetarian food a chance to redeem him from physical weakness.
He began seeing dreams of immensely huge hulked Mohandas before whom everyone would be cowering. And shaking hands of whom even the mighty Englishman would feel proud.
But how to arrange meat for eating? Gandhi family was strictly vegetarian where no member would touch meat even in dreams. It will be a horrible act. If it became known to the family that for his physical reforms Mohandas had eaten meat there would be catastrophic scene. The women folk would suffer heart strokes and the men folk will curse Mohandas to hell.
So, it had to be a discrete act. It was decided that meat would be partaken in the jungle, near the river at some deserted spot.
One of the friends arranged the flesh feast in the name of reforms drive.
Mohandas arrived at the pre-arranged spot. The friend was already there with a package of bread and meat dish.
Mohandas gritted is teeth and looked at the meat preparation which gave him shivers. Darkish lumps coated with brown masaala curry appeared intimidating. The bread was like pieces of rags.
With great courage Mohandas gingerly held a peace of meat. Thank God it did not explode. He closed his eyes and stuffed it into his mouth. It tasted nothing. May be, taste buds had gone numb with fright. He swallowed the lump with difficulty as he could not chew properly. He ate only a little.
That proved a night of horrors for Mohandas. He could not go to sleep. He imagined the goat (whose meat he thought he had eaten) bleating in his stomach alive making him shiver in horror. He kept tossing in bed imagining a number of nightmares.
His conscience kept rebuking him for doing something which it did not allow. He automatically swore that he would never again eat flesh.
In the morning his mind screamed, ‘Monia boy! Don’t spill your beans. Buck up! We are not going to back out at this stage. We shall lose face before friends and become a laughing stock. Remember, the important thing that we must become strong…as strong as English boy. And for that eating meat is essential. Eat even if you don’t like it. Don’t you take bitter pill in illness to get back to health? Similarly consider meat a medicine for strength.’
Mohandas ate meat for a number of times. Gradually bread and meat tasted good. On those days he could not eat meals at home. He would make excuse to his mother, “I am not hungry. My stomach is upset.”
Lieing to his religious mother really pained him. It made him think, ‘Eating meat is bad but it is necessary for physical reforms. But lieing to the parents is worst thing in this world. So, should I stop eating meat as long as parents are alive? I can again start eating when they are gone.’
One bad leads to another especially in the case of one who is in bad company. One day the gang decide to visit red light area.
Mohandas was pushed into the cabin of a prostitute. The diffident Mohandas froze in embarrassment. He found himself incapable of doing anything. The prostitute abused him soundly and threw him out of her cabin.
It was a great escape. This failure did not make him sorry. Infact, he felt relief.
Unable to carry on the guilt feeling he gave up meat eating and other bad acts. But due to these misadventures Mohandas had incurred a debt of twenty five rupees. It was not a small sum during those days. To pay the debt he stole a gold bangle. The debt was paid but Mohandas was burdened with yet another guilt feeling.
What could he do to got rid of the guilt?
At last he wrote a letter in which he listed all the bad things he had done in some details.
He accepted the responsibility for all the misdeeds and sought forgiveness.
During those days his father was bedridden. He was suffering from a chronic skin disease. Mohandas handed the letter to his father and sat down quietly.
His father, Karamchand Gandhi read the letter and tears rolled off his eyes.
Mohandas watched feeling ashamed of himself. The tears of the father were severest punishment to him which he could not forget throughout his life.
He narrates the scene in his autobiography thus—‘While handing over the letter to my father my hands were trembling. He was ill and his bed was spread on the board. I sat on it. He read the letter. Pearl shaped tears rolled of his eyes and fell on the paper. For some time he closed his eyes. He thought for a while and tore the letter. I too wept. I felt the pain of father’s heart. I would have pictured the scene exactly had I been a painter. The scene is still vividly alive before my eyes. The pearl like tears of the love cleansed my heart of all my sins. Only he who has got such love can feel its power.’
Sometime later, Karamchand Gandhi died.
The responsibility of the family fell on the eldest brother of Mohandas, Laxmandas Gandhi.
