Thanks to a rise in awareness, gender bias in favour of boys, and disfavour of girls, is passe. For most parents, boys and girls are equals in all respects. Yet, there are cases galore where girls are a stigma in family. Also on record are families where boys are better looked after in comparison to female babies. Such attitude, indeed, doesn’t augur well for the health of human society.
Bias is baneful
A family flush with love, peace and prosperity, must avoid bias like stench. Children are the best of nature’s gifts—so why find fault with them? Wise couples realise it too well that gender based discrimination in children is foolish. In the fast changing society of today, mental horizons have expanded. Children are increasingly being viewed for their innate and sublime qualities. This augurs well for the present day progressive society.
It is scientifically proved that neglecting a child totally, as well as excessive pampering of it, both hamper its proper development. Such a child is never confident about his abilities. If one child in a family is pampered and other treated shabbily, as happen often, the latter child gets jilted. It grows up in a shadow of fear, insecurity, and worries, and becomes a mental dud. Some families tend to underestimate girls. Others attach labels of ‘lucky’ or ‘unlucky’ on unsuspecting kids, thus impairing them most obnoxiously. It is the warm intimacy which child gets at home that defines its personality. Love, affection and recognition in family help a child bloom to fullest.
Telling a child repeatedly that he is no good, or putting it under scanner is to imperil its future for sure. Such insensitivity triggers despair, loneliness, helplessness and criminal orientation in child’s psyche. A child so unsettled can neither love his self, nor someone else. For him, sensitivity towards others, or doing good to others, is simply out of question. Clearly, bias against a child is cruelty of worst order. Child thus abused likes to believe he is bad, ugly, and incapable. Worse, he blames his own self for this. Such feelings open pandora’s box of myriad problems. Child thus becomes a psychic wreck, and a failure in life.
Now daughters are having their day
Gone are the days when sons and daughters were treated differently. Most parents today pine for daughters. Majority of Indians today would prefer to have a girl child and only one at that. Should they desire two offsprings—one of them should be a female child. Quoting results of a media survey, the veteran writer Era Jha has asserted that 75% of people questioned gave their preference for female child.
And choice in favour of daughters wasn’t without reasons. Infact some arguments favouring female child were superb. For example, many believed that there existed no difference between a boy and a girl apart from their name and their gender. Others contended that boys and girls supplemented one another, so why treat them apart? Majority of subjects desired daughters for their sentimental appeal.
A majority believed that daughters are emotionally attached with their parents and guardians all their life. Even after marriage, girls, unlike boys, remain bonded with their parents. That apart, girls have a wonderful knack of striking balance between connected families. No wonder, couples would rather have a caring daughter than an irresponsible and rebellious son.
Belles, by natures, are helpful, emotional and affectionate. Ask a senior corporate executive his heart’s desire, and the answer is a girl child dancing in his courtyard. Speaking on subject, a lady had this to say : ‘If your little son offers his finger, hold it tight for you may not get this opportunity later in life. But for girls it is a different matter. No matter how far away they be from you, they are just a call away.’
There are instances galore testifying to tenacity of daughter’s love. A senior citizen breathes his last in his daughter’s lap. Not that he didn’t have a son. He did. The son was a senior officer in administrative services. But son’s affection for father wasn’t as sound as daughter’s. And that may be the reason why the old man, after his retirement, choose to spend last 15 years of his life with his daughter. His daughter, then became his son, his friend in sorrows and happiness. When mother passes away, leaving father alone, who else can done mother’s mantle than a caring daughter—and give succour to hapless father? Daughters reach out to help their parents even from across the seven seas. Sons, in sharp contrast, get lost in thick and bustle of alien land on their foreign jaunts, and forget their parent back home.
This wave of empathy for daughters is getting stronger by the day, not only in India, but also in distant lands. Dorothy, the psychiatrist of University College of London blames boys for resurgence of pro-girl sentiments. Boys, says Dorothy, fail repeatedly in examinations, roam aimlessly all night; and are vitriolic and violent by nature. This has shocked society no limits. And triggered perception that girls are honest to the core, consistent in temperament, and have little to do with unlawful activities. Indian history is replete with stories of women’s feats of labour and sanguine sacrifice. Notably, how queen Durgavati took Mughal forces to task—vanquishing them. Rani Laxmibai, Noorjahan, Lopa Mudra, Gargi, Gandhari and several others of their ilk have their names written in letters of gold in pages of world history. All round spread of education has helped women rise significantly. Thanks to explosion of knowledge, girls have their signature presence in every nook and corner of world. From Indira Gandhi to Golda Mair, Aang San Suki, Kiran Bedi, Mother Teresa, Arundhiti Rai, Medha Patkar, are all examples that given right kind of education girls can surpass boys in all endeavours of heart and mind.
Remember
❑ We should never ever discriminate between one child and another. Come what may.
❑ Women have proved beyond doubt that given right knowledge, direction, and training, they can take on any challenge anywhere in the world.
❑ Sisters are birds
Of sunny afternoon
Coming from far off skies
Staying as guests.
In our courtyard
Ever eager to fly away if approached.
From one family to another.
Daughters are shuffled
And reassorted
Like grains of wheat
Shared and cared, after harvest.
