Chapter 6
Alice stood outside the house for a long time. She didn’t know what to do next. She kept standing there gazing at the house. All of a sudden, Alice’s eyes fell upon a liveried footman at some distance. He was rushing towards the house. He lived in the woods and was coming out of it. Reaching the door of the house he gathered his breath. After some time he knocked at the door loudly with his knuckles. But nobody responded. Now he rapped more loudly at the door. This time the door was opened by another footman in livery. He stood there gazing at the liveried footman. He had large eyes like that of a frog. He was handsome and had a round face. Both the footmen had powdered hair that had curled all over their heads
Seeing the footmen Alice said to herself, ‘Wow! Both look very decent and handsome. But who are they and what do they want? I must know a little about them. I should tiptoe over to them to listen to their conversation. It will be a lot of fun and frolic.’
Thinking so Alice crept a little to listen to their discussion. The footman who had come out of the woods was full of energy and enthusiasm. He has an invitation card tucked under his arm. Handing it across the other footman who had a face like that of a fish he said, “Dear, this is an invitation card for you from the Queen. The Duchess has been invited by the Queen to play croquet.”
After receiving the invitation card, the second footman observed, “I see. This invitation card is quite as large as myself. I am happy to receive the invitation. It is my privilege to be there. Please pay my regards to dear Queen. Say to her that the Duchess will be very much there on the stipulated day and time.”
After their conversation was over, both the footmen bowed low as per the prevailing rites and rituals. As they did so, their curls which were over their heads got entangled with each other. It was a funny sight. Alice could not help laughing. She burst out into a peal of laughter. But she at once ran towards the woods lest she should be heard. She kept on laughing for a long time.
After laughing for an hour or so she peeped out from behind an oak-tree. The first footman was nowhere to be seen. He had gone whither he had come. As regards the other footman, he looked very sad and depressed. He knelt down near the door of the house and was taking some exercise. Sometimes he would stare foolishly up into the open sky.
Alice standing behind the tree could not make out anything. She said to herself, ‘I had better go to the house and inquire what the matter is. Will it be a right move?’
Thinking so Alice came near the house. Gathering courage and enthusiasm she went timidly up to the door and gave a loud knock. The footman standing there was watching Alice. He said to her, “Dear! There is no use knocking at the door. However hard you knock at the door, there will be no outcome.”
Hearing the words of the footman Alice was taken by surprise. She remarked, “Why is it so? Is there nobody inside?”
The footman stated, “Because the people inside the house are making a lot of noise. Your knock is not audible. Moreover, you and I are standing on the same side of the door.”
Hearing the words of the footman Alice again knocked at the door, more loudly than before. But all her efforts proved an exercise in futility.
All of a sudden, Alice was taken aback when she heard howling, shouting and screaming inside. There was an atmosphere of chaos and confusion. It was terribly noisy inside. Sounds of crash were heard as if some china sets were broken into a thousand pieces. All in all, everything was out of control. Alice thanked the Almighty God that she did not enter the house. But her inquisitiveness grew with every screaming and shouting.
She said to the footman, “Dear! Please tell me how I can get in. I am very excited to be inside the house. Please guide me. I seek your help.”
Hearing the words of Alice the footman observed, “Dear! Now it is altogether impossible to get in. If you were inside the door, I could have let you out. But now, the story is totally different.”
Hearing the words Alice was out of her wits. She failed to understand what the footman was trying to tell. The footman moved to the corner and began to gaze at the clear blue sky. This behaviour of the footman incurred the wrath of Alice who thought him uncivil and impolite. She also realized that the footman was in no mood to help her.
Now Alice yelled at the top of her voice, “O footman! Are you listening to me? Tell me how I can get in. I know you are very smart and clever.”
But the footman pretended as if he were not listening to Alice. He scratched his head a little bit and sat out one side.
After some time he stated, “If you don’t get angry, I shall sit here till tomorrow. Let tomorrow come then I shall tell you how to get in. Be calm and don’t get frustrated. Don’t lose temper. Good children don’t get angry.”
Hardly had the footman finished his words when the door of the house was flung open. A china plate flew out and hit the footman sitting outside right in his head. The footman tried to avoid it but all in vain. The plate struck against the footman’s nose so hard that it grazed it. Then the plate fell down to the ground and broke into a thousand pieces.
Seeing it Alice was very much terrified. She turned pale with fear. On the other hand, the footman remained unfazed. He said to Alice, “Dear! Haven’t I told you that something is going on inside? So, be careful. Some more things may come out flying at you as well.”
Alice without paying attention to what the footman told observed, “Dear, tell me how I can get in. Don’t deviate from the topic. Only you can tell me the way in.”
The footman even after getting a hit was unperturbed. He at once replied, “Maybe the day after tomorrow. You will have to wait for the opportune time.”
But Alice didn’t budge an inch from her stand. She was as adamant as before. Again and again, she posed the same question, “How can I get in?” Every time her voice was louder than before.
Now the footman became irritated the way Alice posed the same question time and again. He said to Alice, “Don’t you have another question? You are asking me the same thing again and again. I am fed up with the attitude of yours. Be off my eyes or keep your mouth shut for good. I can no longer bear you.”
Alice didn’t like the way the footman argued with her. She began to hurl abuses at the footman but to no avail. The footman was as rigid as before. He didn’t react at all.
At last Alice said to herself, ‘The footman is mere wasting my time. It is no point talking to him and requesting for help. I had better go inside and see for myself what is going inside. If I don’t do this before long, I shall go crazy.’
Thinking so and saying goodbye to the footman Alice opened the door softly and entered. She was feeling scared in her heart of hearts. As she opened the door, she saw a large smoky kitcred which was just right in front of the door. There stood a three-legged stool whereupon sat the Duchess. She was feeding a small baby. On her right hand, there was a chef with a long cap on. He was busy preparing soup in a big cauldron. The fire was blazing furiously under the cauldron.
As Alice moved near the cauldron of the soup, she began to sneeze violently. She said to the Duchess, “What is in soup that causes me to sneeze like that?”
Hearing the words of Alice the Duchess observed, “There is much pepper in the soup. That is why you are sneezing a lot.” And the Duchess was rightly so. Even the air was filled with the smell of pepper. The Duchess too was sneezing off and on. Such was the strong effect of pepper. Even the baby whom the Duchess was nursing was sneezing and howling alternately without a second’s pause.
Everybody was sneezing, except for the chef and the large cat which was lying on the hearth. They were grinning showing their teeth. Alice stood dumbfounded. She could not understand why the large cat was grinning like that. At last she said to the Duchess, “O lady! Would you like to tell me why this large cat is grinning in this fashion? What is the reason behind it?”
The Duchess got up from her seat and took round of the room. Then she observed, “Dear! Don’t you know that this is a Cheshire cat? It always grins like that. It is in its nature. The baby whom I nursing is a little pig. I think your queries have been answered.”
Hearing the words of the Duchess Alice got frightened. She nearly jumped, for she had come to know that the baby was the young one of a pig. She went over to the Duchess and observed, “Madam! I didn’t know earlier that cats could grin in such a fashion. It is really unbelievable. It is beyond one’s imagination.”
Hearing the words of Alice the Duchess retorted angrily, “That is your fault if you don’t know. But it is a fact, I tell you. I think your GK is very poor as you don’t have much knowledge.”
These words of the Duchess made Alice angry. She got offended. She thought it would be better if the changed the topic without much delay.
In the meantime, the chef who was preparing soup took the cauldron off the flame. Without saying any thing to the Duchess he began to hurl fire irons, saucepans, plates and dishes at the Duchess and the baby-pig. The Duchess was busy conversing with Alice. The baby, on the other hand, was crying so loud that it could not be known whether the things were hitting the baby or not.
The Duchess said to Alice, “So you should brush up your knowledge of GK before talking to me in future.”
But Alice did not pay any attention to what the Duchess said. She was looking at the chef who was till busy throwing different articles at the baby. “Oh no! don’t do that. It will hurt the baby’s nose,” said Alice, when she saw the chef throw a big spoon towards the baby. The large spoon nearly hit the nose of the baby and carried it off.
Hearing the words of Alice the Duchess flew into a rage. She observed, “It is none of your business. Let the chef do whatever he wishes. If everybody minds his or her business, the entire world will move about smothly. That is for sure. One should not poke one’s nose into others’ affairs.”
Without paying any attention to the Duchess’s words Alice turned away. She said to herself, ‘It is the opportune time when I should try to display my knowledge and wisdom. I should avail of this opportunity.’
The very next moment, she said to the Duchess in a grave tone, “There are twenty-four hours in a day. There are 365 days in a year. And the earth takes 365 days to complete one revolution. The earth revolves around the sun which is stationary. Only the earth moves. The sun rises in the east and sets in the west.”
Hearing the words of Alice the Duchess flew into a rags. She shouted, “This girl talks of axes. Remove her head off her shoulders.”
But the chef was busy preparing the soup. Alice looked worried and frightened. She looked at the chef. When the chef did not show any reaction, Alice again talked of the natural objects. The Duchess was fed up of listening to Alice’s absurd statements. She sang a lullaby to make the baby sleep. She shook the baby from side to side. In no time the baby fell fast asleep. But Alice was bent upon talking of the natural phenomenon.
