One day, as usual Gadadhar was praying to Kaali, “O Maa! Please answer my prayer. I have been begging you for so many years to show yourself to me. Can’t you hear my prayer? I am calling out to you. You have shown yourself to Ramaprasad. But why don’t you give me the same benefit?”
After praying Gadadhar felt his body heat up. His head was slowly spinning and the heart was beating alarmingly fast.
He thought, ‘What is the use of such life where no wish is fulfilled? The death can bring me relief, I will offer my sacrifice to Kaali Maa.’
There was a sword hanging by the wall. He rose up and dashed towards it. But before he could grab the sword a light flashed in the temple. Gadadhar found Maa Kaali standing before him in person. As soon as he saw Kaali Gadadhar fell down unconscious overwhelmed by the miracle. He did not come back to sense the whole day. But he could feel endless joy swathing his heart and his mind.
It was a divine experience.
It was the first time Gadadhar had seen Kaali. For some days he could not calm down and work properly because he was constantly being washed by waves of joy and strange excitement. He could not perform even pooja in correct manner.
Madhurnath hired a Brahmin to help Gadadhar to perform pooja. Now pooja ritual was being carried out in the guidance of that Brahmin.
Hirday suspected that his uncle was suffering from some stomach gas problem. So, he fed him some medicine provided by a vaid he knew. But the medicine made no difference.
Hriday sent a message to the village that Gadadhar was suffering from some mysterious ailment.
After kaali sighting Gadadhar had changed a lot. He had come back after remaining unconscious for a day. Since then his face remained charged up as if in some kind of rage. The rage was for the permanent vision of Kaali. He would feel or imagine as if Kaali stood before him laughing, talking or consoling.
Often Gadadhar would blank out in the middle of the prayer.
Whenever he was conscious he would perform pooja. Otherwise that task fell upon the hired Brahmin and Hriday. Gadadhar had attained an unusual spiritual state of mind where he could, totally surrender to Kaali during worship. During those spells he was like a child before Mother Kaali and showed all the traits of childishness. This particular brand of devotion made him one of the most revered spiritual leaders of international standing.
It was all the blessing of Kaali maa.
Scientifically the explanation could be—He had attained a state of mind in the process of Kaali devotion where his mind could project the desired vision in virtual real forms. At that particular point his brain acted like a flash bulb. After flashing the vision his brain would blank out.
Somewhere along the line the people had started calling him by his real name Ramakrishna in place of the family nick name of Gadadhar.
Whenever Ramakrishna would be in his room alone he could virtually hear Kaali Maa coming upstairs with her belled anklets making humming sounds. She would be in a little girl form. It greatly excited him.
Sometimes he would see other visions of Kaali like she could be standing in the balcony with her hair hanging loose to dry, or looking at river Ganga or towards Calcutta city.
According to Hriday, whenever Ramakrishna entered Kaali temple his body would get very excited like that of a purring cat. Even the others sitting or standing by him could feel it. Hriday would stay close by to help in case his uncle passed out. The way he could lose himself in the devotion amazed Hriday.
Sometimes he suspected that Ramakrishna was really going crazy.
One day he saw his uncle standing in front of Kaali idol staring at her with bulging eyes. His chest had reddened. He was swaying like a drunkard. He stepped on the stage and started caressing the chin of the goddess playfully. Then he began to sing prayers and danced holding the hand of Kaali.
One other time during pooja he was offering sweet to Kaali. Suddenly he rose up and mounted the stage. Then, he put a laddoo in Kaali’s mouth and spoke. “Eat mother. Eat to your hearts’ content.” He heard or imagined Kaali urging him to eat some laddoos.
He said, “What are you saying, mother? I eat first? Alright, if you insist.” So saying he ate a part of the laddoo. Then, he put the remaining laddoo in Kaali’s mouth uttering, “I ate my share, ma. Now you eat.”
Once while he was worshiping Kaali a cat happened to venture there. Ramakrishna put the pooja plate before it saying, “Ma, eat it.”
Ramakrishna was insomniac. At night he would sit in meditational pose and talk to some imaginary person. And at night he would go to the forest and sit under amla tree to mediate.
Hriday noticed all those things which very disturbed his mind. He carefully refrained from telling all these developments to others lest others should suspect his uncle of being a lunatic. But such behaviour could not be kept secret for long. The other inmates came to know about it or witnessed.
Madhurnath could not believe it. He decided to see the things with his own eyes. He went to Ramakrishna when the latter was at pooja. Ramakrishna was too busy in pooja to notice him. He never noticed any comings or goings in the temple while at worship.
He would be fully beamed into Kaali Maa.
A little observation revealed to Madhurnath that Ramakrishna’s child like behaviour was just the outwardly manifestation of his inner devotion to Kaali. Madhurnath watched closely. Tears were cascading out of the eyes of Ramakrishna. His face was flushed with devotion and spiritual zeal. Madhurnath felt that he himself was being swathed with devotional emotion. He thought that extreme devotion of Ramakrishna was lighting up the temple.
Madhurnath now realised that Ramakrishna’s claim of having seen Kaali could be true.
With moist eyes Madhurnath returned to his haveli. His faith in Ramakrishna had gone up considerably.
He reported to Rani Rasmani, “A true worship of Kaali is being performed in our temple. Ramakrishna’s devotion is incredible. For the first time I have seen a deity being worshiped in true spirit. It is amazing.”
It was a pleasant surprise for Rani. She had already become a fan of Ramakrishna’s devotional singing. Now his child like devotion to Kaali amazed her. She decided to see it for herself.
One day the queen Rasmani reached the temple to the surprise of the attendants posted there. She went in and paid her obeisance to Kaali Maa. Only a shortwhile ago worship had been concluded. The queen sat down near the idol.
Ramakrishna stood nearby.
Rasmani requested him to sing some devotional couplets or quartets. Ramakrishna sat down beside the queen and began to sing devotional songs. He sang a few couplets and then, suddenly flew into rage. He looked angrily at the queen and spoke, “Worldly thoughts even here?”
He started shaking in anger and in a fit he slapped the queen twice. It was like a father thrashing his naughty kid a bit. Everyone present there was shocked.
Some of the queen’s servants and the temple attendants ran in. One or two of them advanced towards Ramakrishna to nab him. But the queen signalled them away.
The main reasons of the commotion, the queen and Ramakrishna sat calmly as if nothing had happened while the others stood gravely agitated. The queen was wondering how Ramakrishna had found out what was going through her mind? She knew that she deserved the slaps for what she was thinking. The royal attendants were still in hostile mood against Ramakrishna.
The queen pacified them, “He has done no harm to me. It was something between us. You shall not hurt or annoy Ramakrishna. Leave him alone.”
The attendants has to obey. When Madhurnath learnt about it he went to the queen to enquire. The queen asked him not to get disturbed.
Meanwhile, Ramakrishna was more and more falling into his moody spells. So much so that it had become impossible to keep the temple rituals going on. His devotional frenzy was getting the better of him.
Madhurnath had to appoint another priest to maintain the worship rituals of the temple.
This happened in 1858.
The news of the lay off of Ramakrishna from temple duties worried Chandra. She also heard that he was suffering from some gas problem of the stomach that made him act oddly. It added to her worries.
But the fact was that he was not suffering from any gas problem. All his problems were due to his frenzied devotion and the childish love for Maa Kaali.
Chandra called back her son to the village. Ramakrishna continued his odd ways in the village too. He would keep screaming “Ma Ma!” all day and night. Was he calling to the spiritual mother?
Chandra tried to get him treated in every way namely medicine, exorcism, talismans and the tantra-mantra. Nothing worked.
The village had two cremation grounds, both in the westerly direction. Ramakrishna would head to one of those and sit there in meditation. Often he would take along fruits, nuts and other food stuffs. He claimed that the things were meant to be distributed amongst ghosts and spirits to earn their goodwill.
He would not come from the cremation ground before midnight. Sometimes it worried the family members and Rameshwara would go to the cremation ground calling out his brother’s name.
Ramakrishna would warn, “Do not enter the cremation ground. The evil spirits will trouble you. Wait out there. I am coming.”
He had stopped screaming and crying. His food intake had become regular and normal. It greatly encouraged Chandra. Ramakrishna was behaving almost like a normal person.
But the niggling doubt still remained as to why he sat in the cremation ground till late at night?
