Gradually Siddhartha totally withdrew into himself. Now his brooding had become more grave because he was pondering over specific issues. He had definite agenda to give a thought to phenomena of death, disease, old age, woes and the search of eternal peace.
Meanwhile, Yashodhra gave birth to a son. Entire palace rejoiced and celebrated the event. The king and the queen ever hopeful that the birth of the son would draw Siddhartha out of his brooding mood. Siddhartha did take part in the celebrations and saw his son. But it only aroused fleeting interest in him. He smiled and kissed his son as if he were doing some state duty. Personal emotional involvement was missing.
It hurt Yashodhra. Queen Prajawati hoped that Siddhartha would come to terms with his worldly duties eventually as the love for son would prevail with time.
But she was wrong. Siddhartha became more and more inward looking. He was becoming a stranger to his family.
At last, Siddhartha came to a conclusion that merely brooding and staring into the mirages of worldly desires would get him nowhere. It was time to renounce the world and go in search of the truth, the real purpose of life.
Thus, his mind was made up.
Once full moon night, Prince Siddhartha rose up from his bed. Through window he could see everything frozen in the comfort of soft moonlight. The city was asleep.
He slipped out of his room quietly. In the adjoining room, Yashodhra slept with her son held tight to her breast. He looked at his sleeping wife and son. No emotion stirred in him. His mind had already snapped all the worldly ties. Siddhartha tip toed out of palace. All maid servants and sentries were asleep. No one confronted him or came across.
He was out of the palace minutes later.
Outside the palace his personal chariot driver lived in a hut. Connected to the hut was stable. Prince Siddhartha approached the hut. The horse curiously looked at the prince and shook its head sadly. The prince went in and gently shook the sleeping figure of Chhandak.
Chhandak woke up startled. He saw a familiar shadow standing over him. Was it prince?
He rubbed his eyes and looked carefully in the dim light. It indeed was Prince Siddhartha.
‘‘P…Prince! Here at this hours? What…?” He stammered.
Siddhartha calmly said, ‘‘Chhandak! Prepare the chariot. No noise. We must not disturb others. There is nothing to worry. I just wish to go out on a drive in moon light.’’
The chariot driver cast a puzzled look at his master. He could not ask reasons although it was very odd. He could do nothing but obey orders. He got the chariot ready as fast as he could, stifling his yawns.
‘‘Please mount, O prince,’’ he requested.
Siddhartha mounted the chariot and Chhandak drove it on.
‘‘Which way should I drive?’’
The prince commanded ‘‘Towards Anupriya forest.’’ The chariot raced towards the forests. The prince kept quiet all the way. Chhandak didn’t find anything suitable to say. But he was having some very bad feeling, a kind of premonition.
When they reached the forest, Siddhartha stopped the chariot and got down. They could hear the sound of the river Anoma which flowed by the side of the forest.
Chhandak was horrified when he saw Siddhartha taking off his princely clothes and jewellery. The truth was slowly dawning on Chhandak. The prince was renouncing the world and breaking off all his worldly ties.
The prince handed his things to the chariot driver and asked him to return to the palace.
Chhandak fell at Siddhartha’s feet begging, ‘‘O prince, my master prince! Please don’t do that. Please don’t leave us. It will be a cruel blow to queen mother. Your wife princess Yashodhra would die of grief. Think of your child, my lord master. It will shock the king. He would kill me. Let us go back master.’’
‘‘No dear, Chhandak. No one will kill you. My belongings will tell the king that it was my decision. Not your fault. You will merely be carrying out my orders.’’
Then, Siddhartha picked up his dagger and cut off his long wavy hair locks. He put the hair and the dagger on his clothes like toppings.
To his shock, Chhandak saw Siddhartha speaking to him with folded hands ‘‘Brother! I take this step after giving the matter a lot of thought. I must find the way to the eternal peace for my own good and salvation. If I succeed I will show the way to others. I am renouncing all the worldly relationships. You must return. God bless you.’’
With tears in his eyes Chhandak had to return.
When he reached the palace, he found the king strolling in the garden in a very agitated mood.
Chhandak felt scared.
The king was in foul mood. He roared, ‘‘Chhandak! Where is Siddhartha? Where did you take him to?’’
‘‘ O king please spare my life. I did nothing. I was forced by the prince to take him to the forests yonder Anoma river.’’
The chariot driver fell at the feet of the king and added, ‘‘He gave me his royal clothes and jewellery to be given to you. He has renounced the world and all worldly relationships. I prayed to him no to do so but he would not listen.”
The king clutched the clothes of Siddhartha and put them to his bosom crying, ‘‘So what the sage Asit had predicted comes true. My dear son has become an ascetic. A sadhu or jogi! He wants to become a holy saint to win the hearts. It is the destiny, dear Chhandak. We can do little about it. What can we do…What can?’’
The news shocked Queen Prajawati. Grief struck her although she knew a long time ago, since her son’s childhood that it was coming. She was mentally prepared to take the shock. But still it was devastating because Siddhartha was whom she had brought up more than as her son. He was infact 21 years of her life.
When Siddhartha renounced the world, his son Rahul was only one year old.
The news of the renouncement by Siddhartha was a debilitating blow to the young princess Yashodhra. She collapsed like a beheaded goat. She had lost her head. She tore her hair and clothes as soon as she regained senses after passing out for a period. Queen Prajawati did her best to calm her down.
But Yashodhra remained in stunned state. She would just stare into the emptiness. Now she no more cared for her child. She was too grief stricken to think straight or act normal.
Thus, the taking care of the upbringing of the son of Siddhartha also fell on Queen Prajawati. She dutifully took charge of Rahul as she had done in the case of Siddhartha.
The circumstances put on childless Queen Prajawati duty to foster other’s children which required being more motherly than a natural mother. And she did it beautifully with supreme dedication.
